UP PERISCOPE

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philharris
Posts: 258
Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2012 10:17 am

UP PERISCOPE

Post by philharris » Fri Feb 28, 2020 7:40 am

UP PERISCOPE
reports called fer small ankle high surf…dig it!!! i arrived at dawn to low tide…
‘n’ chest high surf…though the sets seemed endless…there were very long lulls…

after watching wave after wave after wave fer 5 minutes…the ocean turned flat…i shouted to the idiot crew members in my head…”all hands on deck, man yer battle stations, all ahead full !” …

as i paddled thru the nonexistent shore pound…the completely flat impact zone…my mind wondered as i looked at the kelp bed in the distance…creeping in slow motion out of the kelp was a dark...massive wall of death…what the??? aaaugh!!!

mother of god!!! it can’t be??? a god-forsaken rouge clean-up set!!! it’s supposed to be flat…dag-nab-it!!! the huge head high wave was bearing down on me…as i scratched fer my life…i shouted to the befuddled crew members in my head…“up periscope, rig fer depth charge, sound collision, dive, dive, dive!”

my kayak didn’t even start to go up the face of the wave…it submarined as the
throat of the wave barreled over me!!! good lord!!! i’m scuba-kayaking!!!

now…5 feet under water…i shout to the swabby yak-mates in my head…“blow ballast tanks, emergency surface, surface!”…gurgle…gurgle…gurgle…as i reached the surface gasping for air…amazingly…the wave had already past…it was unable to suck me back into the vortex of doom ‘n’ surf me backwards to the beach for a final clobbering…

now…with my cock pit full of water…it was impossible to paddle…aaaugh!!! another set!!! i had a stroke…a heart attack ‘n’ an aneurism…all at the same time…as the kayak slowly drained…my frantic paddling speed increased…it was a miracle i was able to gain enough speed to fly air-borne over the second head high wave…

to complete the catastrophe…shhhwack!!! the force of the air-borne landing snapped my paddle in half…aaaugh!!! cheese ‘n’ crackers!!! wot a way to start the day…drowned rat...sheesh!!!

thankfully…there was enough connection sleeve left to fit the paddle back together…i was back on my way to continue the adventure…wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes…i witness the sky open up…a beam of light came down from the heavens ‘n’ shined on me…a choir of angles singing holding one note…”aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!”…behold…the voice of the almighty god himself rang out…”philiticus, your an idiot”…

he must have felt pity for me…zing-bling-zoom!!! as he allowed me to hook a beautiful fish…this thing ripped line off my reel harder than any i’ve ever hooked before…the g-force was so great…the blood rushed from my brain bucket all the way to my little pinky toe…

at full throttle…i thought i had the biggest fish of my life...it towed me an incredible distance…
once beaten…at color…i couldn’t believe my eyes…the rat bastard only weighed 32.12 lbs…unbelievable…wot a fighter…wot a warrior…cheers!!!

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"thou your ship be sturdy...no mercy has the sea...will you survive on the ocean of being"...~peter gabriel

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Bellcon
Posts: 2982
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:38 am
Location: San Pedro California

Re: UP PERISCOPE

Post by Bellcon » Fri Feb 28, 2020 7:44 pm

Shes a beauty 8-)
helluva an adventure :shock:
stick an extra paddle in the hull :mrgreen:
Imageccacalifornia.org

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tattuna
Posts: 823
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 8:35 am

Re: UP PERISCOPE

Post by tattuna » Sat Feb 29, 2020 9:21 am

Those things sure like you. Glad the rough paddle out paid off fer ya. You're gonna be eating good these days

Gabe
Posts: 642
Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:43 pm

Re: UP PERISCOPE

Post by Gabe » Wed Mar 04, 2020 8:02 am

That was a great read. Oh yeah nice fish

Gabe

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