THE NOTORIOUS OUTLAW…BIG BUTT

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philharris
Posts: 291
Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2012 10:17 am

THE NOTORIOUS OUTLAW…BIG BUTT

Post by philharris » Sun Sep 13, 2020 8:47 am

THE NOTORIOUS OUTLAW…BIG BUTT

through another log on the fire…this is another long winded
hum-dinger of a kayak fishing adventure…
had to go solo this morning….secret agent dbl-o went out on a
cattle boat to the islands ‘n’ gar (metric fer garcia) had to work…

surf was chest high…which is enough to barrel you ‘n’ wreck yer
day sittin’ in a kayak…but…luckily there were really long lulls…
so…fear ‘n’ anxiety were removed from the equation…

it was a quarter moon…which computes to almost zero tidal
movement…this lack of movement ‘n’ current can be a blessing
in disguise while hunting fer butts in the giggle weeds ‘n’ reefs…
well…it has been fer me anyways…

so…being the sheriff of this one yak town…with only the deputy
idiot crew members in my head to keep me company…
’n’ nectar of the gods to medicate us…we shoved off to parts unknown…
looking for that notorious outlaw…known as “big butt”…

pickin’ up his trail at the two parallel ledges…we proceeded to surgically
navigate these thick reefs…with large sand alleys for ‘n’ aft…i dropped
a jack mackerel on the outside edge of the reef…as i casted plastic over
the reef…wokin’ high ‘n’ mid column…till finally…bouncin’ the plastic
on the bottom back to me…

“yo ho, yo ho, the pirates life for me!” the deputy idiot crew members
in my head were singin’ as i got the plastic snagged on the reef…
“rooster bite!” (metric for a word my wifey says doesn’t exist)…

i proceeded to raise my rod ‘n’ reel down on it…till i was right on top
of my stuck plastic swim bait…jerkin’ the rod in vein to free the plastic…
i finally had to reel down on it with the rod under water…pullin’
straight up…snap!!! a sure fire way not to flip the yak…

as i reele in the line to tie on another swim bait…pow-zing-bendo!!!
my forgottin’ jack mac gets clobbered!!! massive head shakes…
heavy??? zig zaggin’ runs??? the deputy idiots blurt out…”BSB, yep,
no doubt about it, we’ve been to this rodeo time ‘n’ time before!”
black sea bass (metric fer giant sea bass)??? yea??? it sure feels like one???

ho hum…lets get this over with…i started to horse the fish in…thinkin’
it wasn’t worthy of my time to be careful…as the unknown assailant
gave up the fight…it was finally comin’ up vertical out of the darkness???
only the teeth ‘n’ jaw came into view…holy mother of god!!! it’s the
notorious outlaw…big butt!!!

fear flushed over my entire body…as i realized wot a monster he was!!!
i was scared shirtless!!! there we were…the sheriff ‘n’ the outlaw…
steely eyes…staring at one another…on that dirty reef street…in front
of that old saloon…

not a quiver…not a twitch…just then…the deputy idiot crew members in
my head yell…”draw!”…fwing!!! i shot that pistol-aro' right in the gut with
my gaff!!! this just pissed off the desperado!!! like a bomb that just detonated…
big butt flew out of the water ‘n’ over my head!!!rippin’ the gaff out of my hand…

vroom!!! big butt raced to the bottom fer cover…aaaugh!!! (metric for screemin’
one note aaaaaa!!!)…i dragged big butt back to the surface with the gaff still
hangin’ out of his gut…as i reached fer the gaff…big butt says…”howdy sheriff!”…
vroom!!! back to the botton he goes…the swine did this 3 times before i could
get ahold of that gaff to subdue him…

beaten ‘n’ bled out…he still kept fighting…i had to use a second stringer
to thwart his attempts at freedom…as we were goin’ in…i saw a lull in the surf ‘n’
gassed it!!! seeing a waist high wave comin’…i started to follow it in…just
then…the wave jacked on a ledge causin’ me slide in an surf it…with big butt
in my lap…my nose pearled ‘n’ high-sided me into the drink!!!

after a few summer salts under water i popped up like a drowned rat…i haven’t
ate she-ite like that in??? i can’t remember when??? thankfully…by the grace
of god…the game clip ‘n’ second stringer didn’t bust off…i threw big butt back
on the horse ‘n’ took him in for his incarceration…

big butt was 6 inches thick ‘n’ weighed 36.2 lbs…wot a beast…wot a day…
wot an adventure…there is a god…cheers!!!

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"thou your ship be sturdy...no mercy has the sea...will you survive on the ocean of being"...~peter gabriel

HuntersPa
Posts: 261
Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:41 am

Re: THE NOTORIOUS OUTLAW…BIG BUTT

Post by HuntersPa » Mon Sep 14, 2020 8:24 am

Wot a doormat! Wot a story!!




Wot am I doing here behind a keyboard???

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Bellcon
Posts: 3061
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:38 am
Location: San Pedro California

Re: THE NOTORIOUS OUTLAW…BIG BUTT

Post by Bellcon » Mon Sep 14, 2020 3:32 pm

Classic Phil
That’s a beauty for sure
Great story great pics
Imageccacalifornia.org

jruiz
Posts: 419
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2012 6:39 pm

Re: THE NOTORIOUS OUTLAW…BIG BUTT

Post by jruiz » Wed Sep 16, 2020 2:14 pm

Nice fish Phil. Collared shirts dress shirts? If that's what it takes, I'm game.

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tattuna
Posts: 854
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 8:35 am

Re: THE NOTORIOUS OUTLAW…BIG BUTT

Post by tattuna » Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:52 am

Outstanding Phil! Can't believe your gaff didn't fall out through all that. Helluva fish!

AndyACE
Posts: 1179
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:33 am

Re: THE NOTORIOUS OUTLAW…BIG BUTT

Post by AndyACE » Tue Sep 22, 2020 8:00 pm

Big Butt! Good story. I’ve had that happen except my gaff never came back up.

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